The people behind the stereotypes

Part 1: Myths

As a care-experienced young person, I have personally witnessed and heard countless untrue things said about children who are or have been in care. These misconceptions often create a negative narrative and certainly do not reflect most care-experienced people. Here, I’ve chosen three common myths I have heard and broken them down in hopes to challenge the negative stigma.

Myth 1:

One of the most damaging myths about care-experienced people is the belief that we are somehow “bad” or “troublemakers.” This stereotype is not only false, but it is incredibly harmful. Most children don’t end up in care because of anything they did wrong, they are there because the adults in their lives were unable to provide a safe, stable environment. Being placed into care is often due to neglect, abuse, or family crisis, none of which is the child’s fault.

Painting all care-experienced people with a negative outlook ignores the resilience, strength, and courage it takes to survive the care system. It’s hard enough being separated from your family, your home, and sometimes your community. Adding judgment and unfair labels makes the journey even harder.

The truth is, care-experienced young people are just like anyone else full of potential, hopes, dreams, and the ability to achieve remarkable things. Bad experiences do not make bad people. The sooner society stops seeing care-experienced individuals through a lens of judgment, the better chance we have of building a more supportive, understanding world.

Myth 2: Children in care will never accomplish anything.

Another harmful stereotype is the belief that children in care are destined to fail in life — that they will never achieve anything meaningful. This myth couldn’t be further from the truth. While it’s true that being in care can present extra challenges, such as instability, trauma, and a lack of consistent support, it does not mean that care-experienced young people are incapable of succeeding.

In fact, many care leavers go on to achieve incredible things. They become university graduates, entrepreneurs, skilled workers, artists, social workers, and community leaders. Care-experienced people often develop resilience, independence, and determination far beyond their years because of the experiences they have lived through.

The idea that success is out of reach simply because someone grew up in care once again  ignores the strength, intelligence, and ambition that so many young people in the care system possess. With the right encouragement, education, and opportunities, care-experienced young people can (and do) thrive just as much as anyone else.

We are more than our pasts and we are capable of building bright, successful futures.

Myth 3:

There’s a widespread belief that if you grow up in care, you are “broken” beyond repair, that you’ll carry damage forever. While it’s true that many care-experienced young people have faced incredibly tough and often traumatic circumstances, it is wrong to assume that these experiences define who we are for the rest of our lives.

Growing up in care can leave scars, but it can also build resilience, empathy, independence, and strength. Care-experienced individuals are often some of the most determined and compassionate people because they have had to overcome so much. Healing is absolutely possible, and it happens every day. People in care can and do go on to have healthy relationships, achieve personal goals, and live fulfilling, joyful lives.

The idea that being in care permanently damages a person places an unfair outlook on their future. It sends the wrong message, that we are not capable of healing, growing, and thriving.

The truth is that with the right support, opportunities, and belief in ourselves, we can live full and successful lives, not despite our experiences, but often strengthened by them.

Part 2: Pros and Cons

Like many life experiences, growing up in care comes with both positives and negatives. It’s important to be honest about both, because pretending it’s all bad or all good doesn’t reflect the real complexity of living in the care system.

Safety and Stability (Sometimes for the First Time)

For many young people, entering care can mean finally being somewhere safe, away from neglect or harm. A good placement can offer consistency, security, and a fresh start.

But… Lack of Consistency and Stability

Unfortunately, not every placement lasts. Many young people move between different homes, schools, and social workers, making it hard to build lasting connections or feel truly secure.

Access to New Opportunities

Being in care can sometimes open doors to extra support  such as grants for education, mentoring programs, or therapy,  that aren’t as easily available to others.

But… Facing Stigma and Judgment

At the same time, society’s negative stereotypes about being “a kid in care” can create unfair barriers. Judgment from peers, teachers, or even employers can make it harder to fully take advantage of those opportunities.

Learning Independence Early

Care-experienced young people often become highly independent, gaining valuable life skills like budgeting, cooking, and self-advocacy at a young age.

But… Early Pressure to Grow Up

That independence sometimes comes at a cost. Many care leavers are forced into adulthood far earlier than their peers, often without the same family support networks to fall back on.

Building Resilience

Living through tough experiences can shape care-experienced people into incredibly strong, adaptable, and empathetic adults. Many of us carry a deep understanding of struggle, which often translates into strength.

But… Emotional Impact

Behind that resilience is often a history of loss, grief, anger, or trauma. Without the right emotional support, the weight of these experiences can sometimes affect mental health well into adulthood.

Care experience shapes people in ways that are both powerful and painful. It’s important to recognise the strength that comes from surviving difficult situations, but also to acknowledge the very real challenges that many face along the way.

Why Stereotypes Are So Harmful

Stereotypes about care-experienced people don’t just hurt feelings, they have real consequences. When society views children in care as “bad,” “broken,” or “bound to fail,” it affects the opportunities we are given, the support we receive, and even how we see ourselves.

I’ve personally experienced how damaging these assumptions can be. I remember when a friend’s parents found out I had been in care, they told their child that I would “end up on drugs, living on a council estate, and pregnant.” They judged me not on who I was, but purely on a stereotype about where I came from. It was cruel, unfair, and completely untrue, as I have now gone to prove them very wrong.

This kind of judgment doesn’t just hurt, it isolates. It sends the message that no matter what you achieve, you’ll always be seen through a negative lens. And worse still, it can make young people start to believe these lies about themselves.

The truth is, care-experienced people are individuals, just like anyone else. We are not defined by the circumstances we were born into, or by the fact that we needed support at some point in our lives. We deserve to be seen for who we truly are resilient, complex, full of hope, and full of potential.

When society continues to push false narratives about us, it doesn’t just hurt care-experienced people it also damages society as a whole. It prevents talented, strong, capable individuals from being seen, heard, and valued. Breaking these stereotypes isn’t just about protecting care leavers  it’s about building a kinder, more understanding world for everyone.

If you take anything away from this, let it be this: care-experienced people are not broken, and we are not bound by the stereotypes others place on us. We are strong, capable, and deserving of every chance to thrive. By challenging the myths and listening to real stories, we can all help create a world where every young person is seen for who they truly are, not where they come from.

Thank you for reading and taking the time to better understand the reality of being care-experienced. Let’s keep breaking down these barriers and spreading awareness together.